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What’s our first response when someone advice to forgive someone?

“Forgiving somebody? Oh no. I want to win over him or revenge him, forgiving? It’s what a loser will do. I am not going to forgive, instead I want revenge, I’ll keep the hatred in my mind till be bows his head to me”

This is the usual response when we say someone to forgive to somebody or someone say us to forgive. Because generally forgiveness is considered as weak thing, as said earlier, “that’s what a loser does”

Understanding forgiveness

Forgiveness is a not a weakness. Forgiveness is the most courageous activity one do to solve a problem or an issue. But only very intelligent understand it. The real loser is the one who never forgive. He carries all the negativity in his heart which destroys him like fire destroys the wood.

Did you observed a person who does not forgive and carry lot of grit in his/her mind all the time? And did you observed a person who is lighthearted and take things easy and don’t hesitate to forgive? Who live better? The people who carry the hatred usually attract very little love. And mostly where he finds happiness is in drugs or alcohol or porn.

The lighthearted person forgives and lives a sane life. He does not need porn/drugs to find happiness. Because there is no fire inside his heart which burn him. There is no sorrow inside his heart created by hatred, so forgiving actually gives him more.

But the general perception about forgiveness is when we forgive, we are losing, this is not true. When you are forgiving, you are winning.

Forgiving Intelligently

Forgiving everybody needs great wisdom and courage. Usually you may not be in that level. So if you forgive everybody, it’ll backfire you. So start forgiving your nearby ones first, like your parents, your siblings, neighbors… etc, I am picking these people because these people must be given good also, Your parent may given you food and shelter till you become adult, but they may be done lot of harm to you also, but it’s a mix of both. I choose these people because of this. Be these people on your first priority when you choose people to forgive. Forgive for the things they have given to you. It’ll be easier. Start from here. And as you grow as a humanbeing, you can forgive more, you can forgive everybody. You can forgive everybody when life starts giving you a lot. So go step by step.

To quit porn addiction, there should not be any destructive fire in your heart. You must cease them. When you cease them, you are getting free. Free from sorrow, free from sorrow will give you freedom from porn. Because what makes you go to porn and drugs are nothing but sorrow you carry in your heart. So intelligently remove this negative stuff from your heart. Life will become more pleasurable when you lose this kind of negativity one by one.

Try to be an easy, fun man, learn to enjoy, laugh, live.

Please visit http://quitporn.net for more on quitting porn

Sex addiction counseling can be a life-saving treatment not only for the person that is addicted, but for the spouse or significant other of the person with an addiction. Sex addiction can appear as many different things, but often the person addicted to sex uses sexual acts in order to cope with the stress in their lives. And this can cause a rift in any relationship, because the sex addict is constantly expressing sexual behaviors and fantasies that the spouse may not even be aware of.

For many people who are addicted to sex, their behaviors change in order to allow much more pornography into their lives. While watching porn does not necessarily make you a sex addict, watching it constantly or needing it to cope with are aspects of your life in unhealthy. Many people addicted to sex also find that pornography is often more satisfying than have intimate relations with their spouse.

A pornography therapist is very helpful in these situations. This type of a therapist specializes in the treatment of addiction to sex, more specifically pornography. They will be able to work with a person in order to get them to handle their stress in a more positive way instead of resorting to watching pornography as a stress management technique. This can easily to help save a marriage that is struggling under the weight of sex addiction.

Counseling sex addiction, especially when there is a marriage on the line, can help to save the relationship. Sex is often a taboo subject, but if a person is struggling with sexual desire that they cannot control, it is a subject that needs to be talked about within the relationship as well as with a qualified professional. Professional counselors are able to work with an individual or couples that want to get the issue under control. This often means that there needs to be a change in lifestyle for those who are addicted to sex. They will have to find new ways to handle their stress. Working with a counselor can help a sex addict find those things in life that will help them cope with stress without having to resort to sexual behaviors.

Even if you the sex addict in the relationship is not ready to get treatment for their addiction, the spouse of the addict can be counseled in order to help deal with feelings of anger and loneliness caused by living with a sex addicted spouse. This counseling can help improve the feelings of the person dealing with the addict, and it can also let the spouse realize whether the marriage is worth working on or not. This can open up the eyes of the addicts in certain cases and provide a window for them to see what they are doing to their families due to their addiction to sex.

If you are a sex addict and want treatment, you will want to find a counselor that deals specifically with sex addiction treatment. Most of the time, this type of addiction can be handled as an outpatient status and therapy can also be for couples.

There is little agreement among mental health professionals as to how to define addiction to pornography. It is the amount of time a person spends looking at porn? Is it the type of porn the person views? Or is about the actual effect that pornography has on someone’s life?

There are different approaches being used today to treat porn addiction. Some don’t consider it an addiction, but call it “problematic pornography use”, based on the idea that the behavior has an effect on the patient’s quality of life. This is s useful approach. Consider the case of children and teens on the Internet, for example, who may not be actively using porn but may have been exposed and effected by that exposure. The Internet guarantees that nearly every child will be exposed to porn images and videos at some point during childhood.

Consider the person who has viewed porn online, is aroused and wants to view more, but is morally conflicted about seeking out more x-rated content. He may deny the urge to keep looking at porn online but his obsessive thoughts about porn disrupt his ability to function well. Such a person is not an addict. But the conflict he is enduring is causing him a lot of suffering. Help for treating a problem with pornography could release such people from the tortured thoughts they are enduring. But how likely are such people to seek out professional help and is effective help even available to most people?

No one can really say today what is the best treatment for pornography addiction because there is no data available. No government funding exists for studies of porn addiction yet. There is still a lack of awareness of the social impact of porn addiction. While once it may have meant a few broken marriages, today, the impact is far greater and the growing phenomena is poised to become a major mental health concern with hardcore porn available to every child, teen and adult with a computer or Smartphone.

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Addiction arises when you reach the point that you loose control of yourself to a substance or certain behavior.  This can be embarrassing especially when your addiction is something unacceptable like masturbation and pornography.  In this case you seem helpless and struggle in seeking aid from other people.  Those who are addicted in internet porn should help themselves to fight the excessive motivations of the adult entertainment industry as well as control urges and their libido.

Porn addiction doesn’t necessarily require you to consult a therapist or take medications like other addictions, all you need is for you to grasp your mental state and above all have this strong determination within you.  Here are some tips of self help for internet porn addiction:

Out of sight, out of mind

We all know that anybody can access the internet, which makes it easy for you to browse on porn sites without sweat and before you know it you can’t stop yourself.  In order for you to overcome this as you are in the process of quitting, sit down at your Pc and make a major move by deleting all porn materials stored in your hard drive, including all saved sites , histories, and cache.  All must go!  And to make it more effective that you won’t get any chance to even take a peek install an adult site filter.

Understand your addiction

Almost always any kind of addiction roots from psychological reasons.  Whether you are sexually frustrated, or this had become a habit you can’t go on without or a way of releasing out tension caused by stress and anxiety you have to find it out and understand that reason.  Remember that in order to make quitting successful you have to be honest to yourself and identify your weakness.  Do not blame porn for your addiction.

Motivation, Mindset and redirecting sexual energy

This can be the hardest part but if you are well motivated then you will never be tempted when porn calls.  Once you find good reasons to get away from porn addiction and you were able to understand it yourself then you are almost there.  You just need to make a concrete plan to stay determined and activities to convert sexual energy to more acceptable, productive things.

To find a complete guide to self help for internet porn addiction click below to discover how to be free of the world of filth for better sexual health, better relationships and more time to do things that bring you joy not empty delights.

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Although Pornography use is many times referred to as the victimless sin, it is in fact full of victims. From the person viewing, to the spouse or other family members, everyone is being affected directly or indirectly. As pornography is continually used, it eventually loses its power to stimulate and further entices the user to progress to other forms of sexual satisfaction, which causes many circumstances of more physical situations to arise.

To keep your marriage and have success with overcoming porn addiction, you must first realize that it is almost impossible to do this with the presence of a porn addiction in your marriage. You can only begin rebuilding your marriage on a solid foundation once this behavior is removed entirely.

Whether pornography is being used by you or your spouse, once it is understood that there “is” a problem, you then are ready for the resolution. Following a step by step plan makes it easier to pursue success and overcome this addiction.

These are the 7 Action Steps a user would need to begin repairing the damage that has taken place:

(1) Realize the Damage it Has Caused – Analyze how this behavior has affected you and those that are around you.

(2) Analyze the Patterns of Temptations – Avoiding places and locations that have triggered your pornography use in the past is important. Using computers in public or in the presence of others is also helpful. It would be a good ideal to purchase filtering software that will block pornographic content effectively.

(3) Come to an Awareness of Emotional Triggers – Sorting out what temptations lead to the desire to view pornography is important. Is it people you’re around, the job, specific days/times etc.?

(4) Acknowledging it as Sin – It is important to do away with justifying it as right in some way or another. Realizing that it hinders your relationship with God and is sinful in nature is crucial.

(5) Re-establish Your Relationship with God – Memorizing scripture so that you can fight against temptation with scripture as it comes up is a great strategy. Deepen your relationship with God by prayer and studying His Word.

(6) Look for a Good Support System – Find a Christian Ministry that helps men and women recover from porn addiction. This will also help you to remain accountable.

(7) Seek Counseling from a Sexual Addiction Therapist – If this has been a long term addiction, seeking assistance from a Therapist that is experienced in this area can be very helpful and can make the difference in the recovery process. Because there could be some long term problems, such as affairs, divorce, sexually transmitted diseases etc. this is a very crucial step to have long term success.

God desires reconciliation for marriages and to Himself. This road ahead might not necessarily be the easiest, but with God it is “definitely” possible. By applying these 7 key components it multiplies your possibility for success with Porn Addiction and allows your marriage to be kept in one piece. God Bless.

System Of A Down – Violent Pornography Bass Guitar Cover. I took this on October 25, 2009.
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This question was recently posted on Yahoo Answers.

“Me and my husband are currently seperated and will be divorcing after i give birth to our second child. I have proof that he meets random pple online for sex. I went onto his email and found that he had a profile on xxxcupid.com and it had his username and password so i went to it and found him handing out his phone number to numerous women to meet up for sex. I printed ALL of the messages out and also an email where a woman sent him naked pictures. I knew he had a porn addiction, but i didnt know it got as bad as actually meeting pple for sex.
Anyways, will that evidence in court help me to gain full custody of my daughter and son-on-the-way?  . . . I just don’t want them spending the night with him until they are old enough to speak and tell me what’s going on.”

Pornography and porn addiction is playing an increasingly more significant role in divorce. Couples fight over whether porn is cheating, women feel insulted by their husbands refusing to give up a porn habit. It is a sensitive and difficult issue. But what place can porn addiction play in the actual divorce and in a custody battle? If a woman can prove that her husband looks at pornography or has an addiction to sex sites, can she use that as an argument for getting full custody and even forbidding the father’s visitations?

Serial rapist and murderer Ted Bundy attributed his violence to a porn habit. That was before the Internet. Questioning whether someone addicted to pornography should be allowed to be alone with his children is a legitimate one.  It is a dilemma that many parents seem to be facing unfortunately.  Should you prevent a loving father from seeing his children because he has a porn habit? Are children in danger when a parent is obsessed with viewing pornography? Demonstrating proof to the court that a parent has a porn problem can lead the court to order limited visitation rights or supervised visitation.

And will the court leave room for a recovered porn addict to regain visitation rights with his children? It is important to realize that a porn addict is not in control and may truly want to recover, while also recognizing that the addiction can have a dangerous effect on his behavior. Recovery is possible and the court should acknowledge and consider the possibility. At the end of the day, it is the best interest of the children that should be taken into consideration in any custody battle and decision.

For advice on how to proceed in a divorce or custody battle when one parent may have a pornography dependency, it is best to consult with an attorney.

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The World Wide Web has become a very generous information portal. Everything that you need can be found here from the silliest to the most serious research. You also have plenty of materials that you can use. You have e-books, videos, photos, and audio files. Simply put, the Internet can be a helpful resource—to a certain extent. When it introduces problems such as porn addiction, it becomes detrimental, more so when it affects your kids. You need to start the process of breaking porn addiction immediately. The good news is that there are a number of great ways on how to stop porn addiction.

1. Develop a completely new interest for your kid. One way of breaking porn addiction is to limit his exposure to sources of pornographic materials such as televisions and PCs. You can encourage him to participate in outdoor activities, such as sports, music, arts, or hobbies. You can perhaps bring him to a museum or watch ball games together. It may take a while before he will get used to the new activities—and he can even be resentful—but if you really want to stop porn addiction, you need to be very patient and persevering.

2. Get to know his friends. He may be a good boy inside your home, but you really don’t know how he acts when he’s with his friends. You can also stop porn addiction by getting to know the other children he usually spends time with. If they are into porn, there’s a good chance that they will or have already influenced your kid to it. Besides the kids, be friendly with their parents too. You can ask them about their children and how they are in their respective homes. When it comes to breaking porn addiction, prevention will always be better than cure.

3. Keep tabs on computer use. Of course, if you need to stop porn addiction on the Internet, you need to tackle the source: the computer. You may want to download parental controls, which will limit the time of use and the websites that can be checked out by your kids. If he has his own computer, you can set up remote networking, where you can view the web pages he’s visiting, as if he were using your own PC. There are also Internet filters. If you can, you can sit beside them as they visit web pages.  

4. Talk but never confront. There’s a difference between being confrontational and being more open to communication. Usually, the former is a one-way street. Moreover, it will only prevent you from further breaking porn addiction, since the child will be more afraid to talk about it to you. If you believe that you don’t have enough capacity to talk about porn addiction to them, you can ask help from a professional like a sex therapist or a counselor.

Parents will always be responsible to the actions of their children. Never be afraid to go to great lengths just to stop porn addiction in your household.

Shelley Lubben gives her testimony in Atlanta. www.shelleylubben.com http
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A porn habit is one that is hard to kick and the most difficult aspect of this addiction is that often the one who is addicted to pornography will see no harm in their keen interest in pornography.

A porn habit might begin with the casual viewing of images thrown onto the computer screen as the result of innocent Internet browsing. The use of key phrases targeted by pornographic websites will result in ‘pop-ups’ arriving on the screen with a series of lurid images designed to entice the person browsing to investigate further.

As the person burrows deeper into websites that offer even more deviant images, the sexual xxx content becomes more intense and more difficult to turn away from. Hours go by and eventually the victim shuts down the computer, feeling slightly ashamed but none the less excited and probably aroused as a result of viewing the kind of performances on offer in most red light areas.

The next time the browser logs in, his (or her) porn addiction stares him in the face in the form of a menu of images last browsed. The victim realises this might shock anyone else who might discover where his intersts lie and so he becomes secretive and begins to exhibit the porn addiction symptoms typical of someone who is irresistibly drawn to pornographic images. He is hooked and will continue to surf the internet for adult pages which offer pornographic content, images and video.

Pornographic addiction is also closely associated with masturbation addiction, which can lead to an impaired sexual relationship with a long term partner. Internet porn addiction leads to lengthy sessions at the computer and precludes normal social behavior: a pornography addiction is decidedly unsociable and requires isolation and solitude and among young adults, teens and children, it has startling bad effects on their perceptions of sexual norms.

For victims of pornographic addiction who are not in a long term and stable relationship, the porn addiction symptoms might be more severe. The porn addict is to some extent reliant on the sexual gratification supplied by the images he browses. The condition prompts more introverted and more intense hibernative activity.

An efficient Internet porn filter will reduce the risks of pornography addiction and restore control for those already in the grip of internet porn addiction. Efficient porn filters are available as part of a Internet monitor software programs and can easily regulate the internet environment for the whole family.

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An efficient web blocker can make all the difference to the health and safety of your family when using the internet.

Pornography is widely acknowledged to be a high profit industry. Unfortunately, porn traffickers see the internet as a personal playground and a tremendous source of revenue. Pornography peddling is indiscriminate and targets people of all ages. The content that pornographers sell is tailored to appeal to just about any individual and a menu of x-rated images might flash onto a computer screen at any time, impartial to the age of the person using the computer. This person could be your Grandmother or your seven-year-old.

To stop pornography from entering your home and taking hold of your children, your elderly parents or even you, invest in a good quality web blocker. A web blocker will take charge of your internet to any extent you wish and you may elect to ban pornography completely or at least eliminate it from your internet environment. The web blocker may be used only for younger members of the family if you wish or be used to totally block unwanted websites by filtering the credentials of the websites your are accessing before they appear.

The Porno industry is professional at gaining access to private homes via the internet and do so with confidence as they know pornography is addictive. Once pornography has formed a habit, it is notoriously difficult to overcome, especially if the habit is formed in early life. Children are therefore amongst the most vulnerable members of the family and should be effectively shielded from pornography with a web blocker that is able to detect pornographic content and block it completely.

Addiction to pornography in childhood is a sorry indictment on those responsible for a child’s well being. Capable adults who take stringent care of their children’s security and would not dream of leaving them unattended in a park or allow them to view an X-rated movie will nonetheless allow them unsupervised use of the internet, where they are prey to the worst possible XXX adult content and where they might even be subjected to hard core porn such as bondage and perversion. To give your children the best possible protection against addiction to pornography, install a web blocker and have the peace of mind that comes with knowing your children are secure and safe from harm.

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Pornographic addiction is not accurately described by an occasional urge to look at one or two saucy pictures now and again. It is a more serious approach; the desire to view pornographic images and an inability to stop doing so.  Baby boomers in middle and old age might have taken little interest in such images in early life, yet display an obsession late in life that they cannot overcome.

How do you know if you are addicted to pornography?  It is a simple analysis of your own behaviour:  Are you able to make the choice to do something else, or does the urge to view pornography take precedence over other social activities?  Are you secretive about your interest in pornography?   Does the secrecy element contribute largely to the attraction?  Do you masturbate more often?  Do you deliberately introduce the subject of sex into general conversation? Does time slip away as you enter a world of pornographic fantasy?  If the answer to these questions is yes, you have a problem to overcome.

Baby boomers who have been recently widowed might turn to pornography in an attempt to deal with loneliness or isolation.  Although a person might not be ready to take the necessary steps to begin a social life again, pornography is something that is readily available in magazines and online, to pass the time and provide excitement without having to involve others.  It becomes harmful when the person is unable to interact normally as a result of a pornographic addiction.

For baby boomers who understand that they have a problem, there are a number of solutions that might be applied to eradicate their difficulties.  If the pornographic material is being viewed online, purchasing an efficient web blocker will help enormously.  Easy to install and password linked, it enables a third party to program a blocking facility that precludes the viewing of pornographic material.  Such applications are traditionally used to block certain sites for children but they may be used with equal effect to help adults.

Increasing the social activities of the addict is another way to help reduce the urge to view pornography.  By filling the hours that are usually set aside for pornographic entertainment, it is possible to reduce certain urges, especially when physical exercise is included. 

An unhealthy interest in pornography is rarely without its drawbacks and may even affect a person’s ability to perform sexually.  Baby boomers of a certain age might attribute a lack of sexual competence to progressing age when in fact the problem lies in pornographic addiction.  Elderly pornography addiction is increasing, probably due to free use of the internet and to the increased competence of the elderly in using internet tools.  

As with most addictions, half the battle lies in understanding that the addiction exists in the first place and admitting that help is needed to stop.  When seeking professional help for addiction to pornography, or for any other psychological disorder, check the credentials of your psychologist carefully.